There is no greater battle in life than the battle between the parts of you that want to be healed and the parts of you that are comfortable and content in remaining broken.
How the Things You Hate About Yourself Can Help You Become More You.
“Self–acceptance can be defined as: the awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses, the realistic (yet subjective) appraisal of one’s talents, capabilities, and general worth, and, feelings of satisfaction with one’s self despite deficiencies and regardless of past behaviors and choices
If you find yourself afraid, confused or worried and doubting yourself this blog post is for you. My purpose for this post is to expose a pattern I recently discovered in myself.
This pattern is one of the biggest obstacles to me being authentic, feeling like myself, and creating the life I want.
When we grow and learn through life we base our identity off of the reactions of others towards us and the expectations of our environment. Which resulted in me only connecting to a small portion of who I really was.
So let’s give an example so if my dad would get angry everytime I made too much noise or went “too far” from the house, I am going to deem those parts unacceptable in order to be approved (loved) as a child. From a holistic perspective, those are parts of me that want to be heard, have something to say or want to go beyond the designated limits set before me. Now as I create art and have my own business I desperately NEED those aspects of myself. And have been dealing with an internal war inside my own consciousness. The subconscious says these are dangerous because they risk being rejected and not belonging to the tribe (family). Which to the subconscious is serious! No shelter, no food, no love. My parents were considerably critical of me that left a lot that needed to be pushed away, labeled unacceptable and rejected in order to survive/belong. Not to mention society’s expectations… Down the line because we are split and separate from ourselves we walk around making decisions with a limited amount of ourselves getting into situations that don’t serves us and have us saying,
“What is wrong with me?!”
“WHY WOULD I DO THAT?”
“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“Why can’t I create the life I want?”
When I reject parts of myself I don’t only rejects the part I dislike, I rejected beneficial ones as well. Qualities are niether good or bad we just label them that way. So I want to share some knowledge to those who resonate with my experience. I do believe that you can exhalt any quality into a beneficial helping quality. Teal Swan has a great video going into more depth into what I explained above. Even an exercise to bring more harmony inside and outside of you.
The second step I took towards integration is one I do quite often. Feeling yourself. So just simply sit and watch/feel yourself. It’s so simple and you’ll realize theres a lot more going on inside you that you were aware of. The first step to healing is looking. Seeing what is programed in you. Here are a few pointers for feeling and becoming aware of yourself.
- Look without judgement
- Bring all your awareness to your body when you drift away bring awareness back.
- Feel emotions don’t narrate them.
- Set a timer so your not constantly thinking about time (It can create anxiety and stress on top of emotions) But hey maybe you want to see those part of you 😉
- Emotions are just sensations and energy once awknowleged and felt they dissolve/ release.
- Be compassionate to yourself!
- Don’t attach to what you see or feel
- Be curious
- Have a pen and paper handy to take notes just in case you get some “aha’s” about yourself
This is why so many people struggled with art/being creative. We all rejected so many creative allowing, expansive, and open aspects of ourselves. Because they were “bad”, “too much”, “not realistic”, and maybe created a “target on your back”. Lots of these emotional parts hold your ability to be you. Without conditions. So shouldn’t take some priority in your life? So be brave and take the risk of seeing yourself and moving through some painful emotions because on the otherside of that is you, the real you.
Thank you for taking the time to read! I hope you enjoyed my perspective and a piece to the big puzzle of life.
Leave a comment below if this resonated or if you have a piece to share of your own.